5:11 on day 3

To listen to this song, stop playlist on right and open in a new window.

http://www.playlist.com/playlist/additem/652612625


Is this breaking a rule? If so, this time it is my fault...there is something about three days...some significance.... Why is it that the pain seems to hit hardest on day three, so much so that we rarely find out about day 4? I was a Navy wife, one who waited three months many times to see my husband and yet this is an amazing difference....The compatibility is so amazing I could not begin to articulate it.

Is sharing this blog the wrong thing to do. I am undecided. God, I hurt. I have such respect for this commitment and yet this feels like a death. Please, PLEASE take away the pain. Maybe tomorrow or even later tonight I can thank you for the pain. Why now, Lord? Why now. I know YOU know the answers, God, and one day I will look back and this pain will be a distant memory or maybe I won't even be able to recall it...I know it is the fear but fear is not the issue here...it is between you and him...and you and me.....YOU are LOVE, God...I have been reading some very interesting articles on divorce today in between moving things and unpacking boxes. It seems everyone has a different opinion.... and I'm talking about Christian leaders....but does one spend a life in misery? Does it have to continue if it isn't "right" in many ways...does it have to continue "until death do us part"......especially if the marriage is killing the person or people involved.....

God, I love you and I want you to be first in my life. I am seeking Your will.... I don't walk in those shoes so it is not my decision to make.. I have said and do mean that all contact must cease....and If that is your will, Lord, will you give me the strength? For I know I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me....

Show ME your Will, too, Oh Lord...